And Baby Makes Three - How To Find Time Together

Having a baby is often a stressful experience and can challenge even the best relationships. Difficult as it may appear, it’s vital more so now than ever to spend time together in order to keep your relationship strong. Having routines in place for you and your baby such as” sleep training for babies ” will help you to use your time well and enable you more time to spend with your partner.

New moms frequently feel overwhelmed with their new role. In many cases they have gone from a job or a challenging career where they were highly regarded, surrounded by friends and colleagues to being at home, by themselves, struggling to learn how to take care of their baby. Sleep deprivation and the never-ending workload takes its toll and moms importantly need to spend time with their partners so that they can once more feel valued and loved.

From a Dad’s standpoint he has suddenly taken a back seat. Where in the past he might have had his partner’s complete attention he now has to compete with this small new family member and as a consequence may feel left out and appear withdrawn or resentful. He too wants to know that he is an important figure in his partner’s life.

Spending time with one another really should take priority. It sends the message to each other that you are both valued and worth spending time with, although life is most likely busy and time precious. It will not only help to nurture your relationship but unite you as a family. What better environment to provide for your children. A speaker I once heard said “By investing time in your relationship you're also investing time in your children’s future happiness” “I could not agree more.

Pointers to Finding Time Together

Because your lives are so much busier now, you may need to “plan ahead” to fit in some time together.

Below are some ideas:

• Try and spend some time together after your baby goes to sleep to chat and share feelings. Even 1 or 2 minutes can help.
• As a family go for a stroll, you and your partner can grab some time together while your baby enjoys a ride in the push chair. If your baby has been unsettled this is the ideal time - baby will most likely fall asleep and you have the additional advantage of quality time with your partner.
• If at all possible attempt to make a regular weekly outing with just the two of you. As soon as you are feeling comfortable being separated from your baby, ask a friend or relative to mind baby for a couple of hours and head out to dinner or a movie. You may be surprised at how some time alone together, away from your hectic environment, can remind you how important you are to each other and you have other needs and wants outside of being a parent.
• If you don’t wish to leave the baby with a baby-sitter yet, make a special dinner at home or put on a movie after you put the baby to bed. Try to stop interruptions by unplugging the telephone or using an ansaphone.
• If you have friends or family with young children themselves, they could be happy to exchange baby-sitting services.

Ngaire Moulds, mother of 4, has 20 years ‘ experience bringing up children. Having had 4 children under 5 and now the mother of 4 teenagers she has experienced raising babies, toddlers and teenagers. As her children became more independent she gained childcare qualifications, worked for a few years in this field and is now in the process of creating a book. Visit her website routines for babies for practical concepts on subjects such as sleep training for babies, infant feeding schedules and finding time for yourself.