Exercise Parental Control with Alternatives

Parenting with Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

Most parents have encountered this situation at one time or another. Your child is doing something that is potentially dangerous, or annoying, and when you try to stop them they throw a tantrum.

This is always one fo the biggest trials that any parent must face. Children will develop social competence and self confidence if they are provided with tolerance and praise for their positive actions. But parents always need to remain in charge.

A toddler can typically be presented with up to 20 restrictions on their actions every hour. I daresay that you wouldn’t like to be told what to do every three minutes?

Parents often need to assert control when a child is doing what comes naturally but can be risky to them or to others around them. Playing with knives, bashing brothers or sisters with toys and fighting are all examples of how children will test their boundaries to investigate the world in which they live.

Providing the child with alternatives can be an excellent way to enable them to continue to investigate and learn. For example, you might simply exchange a metal knife for a plastic one or a spoon. Or let them find out how much it can hurt to be poked in the eye.

Alternatives don’t always work but they can provide an effective way to defuse a potentially explosive situation. The first thing to do is to acknowledge what the child is trying to achieve and then to introduce the alternative. Its then important to engage the child with the alternative by using it yourself and makign it appear more attractive than whatever they were doing previously.

There will be plenty of occasions when you will not be in a position or able to offer alternatives and these will serve to educate your child that the world has its limits. Distracting children from risking or potentially harmful behvior with interesting and engaging alternatives will help to reinforce parental authority and teach them that altermatives are often available.

********************************************************

I recommend camping as a great way to bond with children, to provide them with freedom to investigate the world around them and engage with their parents or carers. But always remember to ensure safety by using the right camping equipment. You may like to take part in a bushcraft course where children will learn a variety of skills including how to handle a bushcraft knife, start a fire without matches and tracking skills.